At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Randomize
