soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
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vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
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My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
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