you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
