i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.