Your tits are I can't wait for
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I just cut my nipple shaving
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants