You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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