holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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