elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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