I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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