I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
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there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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