i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
