oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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