Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
