By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize