some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
