We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
