...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
