that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
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