I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Randomize
