I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
