Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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