When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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