That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
