Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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