did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Randomize
