if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I think we might need a safe word for this...
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
