It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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