I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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