when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Randomize