I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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