Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize