i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
