first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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