i will never coherently bang her
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
He better not be in your backpack
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
