epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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