what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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