Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize
