sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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