new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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