farters have to be the big spoon...
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
