I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
