Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
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