My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
