The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
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