So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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