And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I want to fling myself into the sun
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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