How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
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