She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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