how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
