I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize