am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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