Don't you send me to vm
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
