We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
