Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Your dad touched me again.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
