You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
