You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
