Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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