youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize