dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
