I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
