Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
