Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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