I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
