But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I am available for nakedness
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
