No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
